HORRIBLE

(A.k.a. ABSURD; GRIM REAPER 2; ANTHROPOPHAGUS 2; ROSSO SANGUE; MONSTER HUNTER)

Released in the UK by Medusa Video in the early 80s under the title of ABSURD, this 1981 shocker was accredited at the time to obscure director Peter Newton. It didn't take long, of course, before word spread that this was simply a pseudonym for Aristide Massaccesi - better known on UK shores as Joe D'Amato.

ABSURD became notorious in the UK for being added to the Department of Public Prosecution's "video nasties" list in the mid-80's ... and has not been available in the country since. Indeed, there hasn't been an English-friendly version of the film on DVD at all ... until now.

The film opens with oversized Mikos (Luigi Montefiore - or George Eastman, if you prefer) fleeing from a mysterious black-attired pursuer (Edmond Purdom). Mikos tries to escape his chaser by climbing over a tall metal gate - but is pulled down onto the gate's spikes by Purdom.

Staggering to the nearest house, Mikos falls into the doorway of the Bennett house - who promptly ring for an ambulance.

In hospital, Mikos is unconscious while the doctors prepare him for emergency surgery. However, while in the operating theatre, the medics are alarmed to discover that their patient's blood coagulates at a record speed - he can effectively self-heal.

Meanwhile, tired cop Engleman (Charles Borromel) has been called to the hospital to investigate Mikos' assault, but is at a dead-end when he can't even get an ID on the bloke. That all changes when the Purdom's man in black waltzes into the hospital with the intention of snuffing out Mikos' light.

It soon transpires that Purdom is actually a priest who was involved in genetic experiments in Rome. He reveals that Mikos was a subject of these experiments, and escaped from the laboratories - he is now virtually unstoppable and, unfortunately, completely insane ...

All of which arrives on Engleman's plate just a tad too late: by the time he finds all of this out, Mikos has driven a surgical drill through a nurse's head and fled.

So, Engleman enlists the aid of the iffy priest and sets about trying to trace the homicidal Mikos. In the meantime, Mikos makes his way through a handful of small-scale set-piece encounters (the best being an altercation in a meat factory that culminates with a caretaker's cranium being sawed in half).

After a couple of random murders and a hit-and-run incident, Mikos is ironically steered towards the Bennett house once more - where annoying kid Willy (Kasimir Berger) and his elder sister, the incapacitated Katia (Katya Berger) are being babysat by Emily (the one and only Annie Belle).

Cue more bloodshed, and a final third that dispenses with logic in favour of tense absurdities ...

HORRIBLE was the surprise box office hit of 1981 at French cinemas. Whether this was down to its lurid title, even more suggestive poster artwork (the French theatrical poster art is gorgeous) or the fact that some believed this to be a sequel to the unfathomably successful ANTHROPOPHAGUS THE BEAST ... who knows.

Whatever the weather: I think it's fair to say that the film's Gallic popularity says more about the French needs for nonsensical, gory horrors in 1981, than it does about the potential appeal of this film.

Don't get me wrong, I love HORRIBLE (although it kills me to call it that - it shall always be the far more appropriate ABSURD in these eyes). But, watching it back now, it's hard to judge whether anyone without the benefit of nostalgia would tolerate such a messy, virtually plotless and clumsy film.

HORRIBLE has a ludicrous wafer-thin set-up. There is no exposition, and minimal attempt at fleshing out any characters. It's the most comic book-style horror film of the early 80s in this respect, offering nothing other than a pacey race through silly scenarios, corny implausible plot devices and contrived murder set pieces.

But ... if you were there, you'd know how much fun it was stumbling upon this daft gory horror on VHS mere months before the DPP and the Metropolitan Police joined forces to deem it too darned dangerous for the general public's eyes ...

And so, the patently fake-looking special effects were banned from UK video store shelves. Massaccesi's trite and one-dimensional direction of wooden actors was considered too horrific for our eyes. Carlo Maria Cordio's admittedly excellent score was thought to be just too much for our sensitive, impressionable minds.

Yep, censorship in the UK was fucking idiotic at the time.

Watched now, distanced from the video nasty furore and the subsequent kick of collecting VHS throughout the 80s and 90s, HORRIBLE holds up because it hasn't been altered by the years of having not seen it. There is no subtext or richer meaning to it that was lost on us in our youth - it remains daft, trite and hollow. It remains a guilty pleasure.

Yes, the story is lame and inconsequential. Yes, the cast are uniformly nondescript (even Michel Soavi, who turns up in a blink-and-you'll-miss-him cameo as an ill-fated biker). Yes, you'll be scratching your head by the end wondering what the point of it all was, and whether maybe the sole source of inspiration for this film was the finale's riff on HALLOWEEN.

Who cares? The editing is brisk, the direction is assured, the studio lighting is stylish and colourful in a cut-rate Argento style and the body count builds formidably. Best death? Surely the drawn-out oven baking of one unfortunate's bonce ...

HORRIBLE arrives on DVD uncut in a composite print from MYA Communications.

The picture is presented in 1.66:1 and is not enhanced. It looks generally good, with only occasional softness and specks to speak of. For the most part, picture is impressive. Colours and blacks are strong, while there's a smoothness and detail here that will delight those who - like me - have only seen the film on video previously.

To ensure the longest version possible, MYA have incorporated the odd scene from what looks to be VHS sources. They are undeniably inferior to the bulk of the transfer - softer, darker - but are only brief occurrences of little relevance to plot, and all of which (if memory serves correctly) were available on the original Medusa version of the film. All the gore scenes are part of the main master, and therefore look nice and sharp.

Italian and English mono audio tracks are provided. The English track is a little quiet and does fluctuate at times. A brief spin of the Italian track suggested that this is a cleaner, clearer track, but as there are no English subtitles offered I couldn't persevere with this option.

Although the main menu page is static, an animated scene-selection menu allows access to the film via 12 chapters.

There are no extras on the disc.

Gory, silly, filled with plot holes and unlikely to stand up to close scrutiny, HORRIBLE is a relic from a time when Italian filmmakers could make money from taking a then-popular American formula (in this instance, the slasher film) and produce a hollow, dumbed-down-to-the-core variant that stripped away logic in favour of the red stuff.

It still works because it's still as banal and as unapologetic as ever. For newcomers, this could be a problem. For those of us who love this film of old, I'm happy to say it's ability to please despite (or because of?) its shortcomings has not diminished with time.

Cheers, MYA Communications, you've made an old fart happy. It was great to revisit this logically challenged, budget-handicapped but undeniably stylish and entertaining gore film.

Ignore the shite cover art, this is a wonderful piece of vintage trash that would sit comfortably on a double-bill with PIECES.

Review by Stuart Willis