My introduction to "blue movies" was not a glamorous affair. My reward for scraping the skin from my scrawny forearm after clumsily prising a VHS tape from my father’s vinyl Post Office issued brief case via a fastened width was a 4th generation hardcore offering ( I seem to recall it was called ‘Queen of the West’). From what I could make out, the male actors were so laden with hair they made Ron Jeremy look like he had alopecia and their female accomplices were dirty in an unkempt non erotic sort of way. Yukky-mus maximus! Of course the lengths gone to meant I was obliged to "knock one out" all the same but my post masturbatory guilt was accentuated by two things. Not only did I forget to rewind the tape but I also had permanently compromised the side of the aforementioned fortress of porn security. Ooops!
Such discomfiting recollections were hidden deep in my psyche until recently when I perused another archetypal release from those peddlers of seventies filth, After Hours Cinema.
They are an interesting bunch it would seem. One minute they are brazenly pushing the boundaries of good taste with their incestuous "Family Loving" features such as the DADDY’S GIRL and SEX MAD FAMILY discs. The next, the rather more languid concept of SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE is the focal point for a double bill of 1970’s triple XXX hardcore sleaze.
The first movie, indeed called "Sex before Marriage" (1970), concerns itself with the common notion that once the honeymoon is over, you had better learn how to play Sudoku because you will never have sex again! (Well, not with your wife anyway). With that in mind, Ben is goaded into ‘sowing his oats’ mere hours before he ties the knot.
SBM unfortunately reconfirmed my pessimistic suppositions about archaic adult celluloid. The print itself was more battered than usual, riddled with vertical lines dancing throughout. Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing evidence of 16mm prints authenticated with the odd jump and crackle but this was a step too far to be enjoyable. The camera work was pretty shoddy at times as well although this did have its advantages. When the fuzzy out of focus pump and grinds finally gained some lucidity only to reveal a fat hairy arse bobbing up and down like some ballooned kiwi fruit, I wished I could readjust the lens myself to blur the vile depiction of love making.
The editing wasn’t a strong point either. In this age blessed with Viagra and its stud inducing alternatives, its rare we see that 1970’s phenomenon of the frustrated female performer struggling in vain to kick start a lazy penis out of its flaccidity! Marshmallows and slot machines spring to mind...
The highlight of the movie for me (or at least the most interesting scene) was an outdoor seduction by ‘FLAB-ulous’ young lady on our horny hero. Her body was of the fuller kind which would surely have gained a respectful nod of the cap from Anton LaVey and that devilish artist Coop!
Second up was FREUDIAN (1969). With a similar run time to the preceding picture (78minutes), this was another largely forgettable romp not helped by the washed out colours and muffled audio. The narrative was the typical porn gesture regarding the sordid malpractice goings on of a sex therapist.
As with the other After Hours releases, the DVD contains an entertaining trailer reel that depicts snippets from some of their more outrageous presentations. (‘Hostage Sex’ anyone?)
With predictions rife that celluloid will finally be wiped out by digital hard drives by 2015, I guess watching (digitally reproduced) porn from 16mm Film could serve some purpose if you wish to indulge in a nostalgic wank after a few cans of Double Diamond (Remember that stuff?) But there really are a lot more sordidly exhilarating examples of seventies porn out there, especially from After Hours Cinema themselves.
Review by Marc Lissenburg
|Released by After Hours Cinema|
|Region 1 - NTSC|
|see main review|